
Book #62 of 2021:
American Baby: A Mother, a Child, and the Shadow History of Adoption by Gabrielle Glaser
This book is centered on one (white, Jewish) family’s experience with adoption in the 1960s, but it’s also a fascinating sociological and historical account of a topic that I had previously known little about. As author Gabrielle Glaser explains, the postwar era in America was a time when sexual education was practically nonexistent, teenagers had more freedom and privacy than ever before, abortion was illegal, and contraception was often impossible for unmarried people to procure. Unsurprisingly, the ‘Baby Boom’ was made up in part by a spike in unplanned pregnancies, and many underage expectant mothers were hidden away and pressured into giving up their infants. Meanwhile, strict laws shielded the identity of adopters, such that neither the children nor their biological parents could realistically hope to reunite.
Even that summary obscures the sheer awfulness of this treatment, in which the pregnant girls were fed lies — like that a wealthy diplomat was waiting to adopt their baby, while in reality there was no recipient household lined up — and threatened with jailtime under antiquated morality statutes if they wouldn’t sign over their parental rights. Viewed as a likely bad influence on the offspring, these new mothers were cut off as quickly and cruelly as possible, then to face a dauntingly Kafkaesque bureaucracy aimed at keeping them apart forever. Only recently, as public sentiment has swung around to the importance of everyone knowing their roots, birth parents knowing the fate of their kids, and families staying together whenever they feasibly can — and as genetic testing has further smashed through the idea of maintaining that sort of secret anyway — have some of those walls started to crumble.
Drawing on deeply personal interviews of a mother in this position and the son she was forced to abandon, Glaser presents a heartbreaking tale of lives that went decades feeling unwhole as both parties sought in vain to reconnect. She left regular messages at the agency that had taken him, updating them on relatives’ medical issues and begging for his new name and contact information. (They wrote down the notes and never passed them along.) He combed through available records looking for a hint of his origins, going off the few scraps that his adoptive parents had been told. (Those turned out to be falsehoods as well, painting a glamorous picture of busy professionals who didn’t have time for a child, not high school sweethearts who married soon after losing him.) It’s infuriating to read despite the eventual closure, and definitely made me hold my own daughter tight.
But it’s a moment we can’t look away from or allow to ever repeat, and this writer has done a valuable service in researching and publicizing the story.
[Content warning for domestic abuse, racism, antisemitism, and mention of sexual assault.]
★★★★☆
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