Book #228 of 2021:
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
A powerful memoir exploring the grief of losing author Michelle Zauner’s mother, who was also the main tie to the Korean side of her family. A lot of the writer’s observations are deeply rooted in particular cultural experiences, which I think will resonate with readers of a similar background. Even as someone less familiar with those touchstones, I feel quite moved by their specificity, and by the complicated emotions they bring up in the wake of loss. This book really gets at how much vanishes along with a loved one when they pass — the recipes and other habitual practices; the anecdotes of relatives no one else completely remembers; the reinforcement of a shared past that must now be borne alone. These things ache once they’re absent, perhaps especially for a mixed-race person who’s always felt torn between worlds.
The parent-child relationship at the heart of the text wasn’t perfect, and Zauner is probably more forgiving than I would be in her shoes. But she’s captured the futile rawness of watching someone close succumb to cancer and chemotherapy, as well as the seeming impossibility of ever moving on from that sort of ordeal. It’s an account I’d recommend to most, although you might want to keep a tissue box handy.
[Content warning for domestic abuse, body-shaming, drunk-driving, suicidal ideation, and mention of abortion and rape.]
★★★★☆
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